An Adoption Poem

As a girl I had a common dream, to be a mom someday.
My baby would have eyes of blue and hair the hue of hay.
But now my dreams have been transformed. New visions fill my head.
Now the tresses that I long to stroke are raven black instead.
And in my dreams those eyes are not so big or blue or round.
Now in my dreams they're almond shaped and colored cocoa brown.
And in my dreams my arms can stretch across enormous seas.
They reach halfway around the world and hold you close to me.
As you grow in your mother's womb, carefully knit together,
you're also growing in my heart, where you will stay forever.
And in my dreams the moment that your mother says good-bye,
I'll be right there to comfort you and hold you as you cry.
Our features may not look alike; we're different as can be.
But still I know that the Father has created you for me.
And though I've not yet seen your face, or held your tiny hands,
and though we're half a world apart in very different lands,
I'll be right there to get you just as soon as God allows.
But 'til He says the time is right I give you to this vow...
I'll pray for your protection every day on bended knee.
For God to hold you in His arms, until you're here with me.

Written by: Gayle Leubecker

Why China?

I am asked this question often - Why did you chose China? We chose China for many reasons. The first being - that is where our daughter is. At least, that is the first thing that comes to mind now that all of our paperwork is in China. But I know what everyone means. Initially, I always thought of Romania. When the plight of orphans was brought to my attention, it was in regard to the mistreatment suffered by the children in Romanian orphanges. It was gut wrenching to hear and watch and really just pulled on my heart-strings. Around the same time, the infanticide in China was also starting to make rounds in the media circuit. The ideas of girls being killed because they had the misfortune of being girls in a society that favors boys or left abandoned on the side of the road was almost too much to fathom. I always thought I would end up adopting from one of those two countries.
When Lalo and I finally decided to go through with an adoption, I thoroughly researched all the countries that were open to international adoption. Not everyone is. Romania was closed. Russia initially appealed to me because I thought that a child from Russia would blend in "physically" with my own biological children, being that the girls are blue-eyed and fair skinned. But ultimately, I wasn't adopting to have the "picture pretty" family. We aslo considered Colombia for awhile, but the required 7 to 8 weeks in-country stay was just too much time to be away from work and school.
There are so many advantages to adopting from China. The most significant reason is that China really has the most predictable and stable program of all countries. There are no surprises with China. You are given a timetable and know upfront what to except and what not to expect. The court system there is predictable. Just yesterday, Lalo was telling me about a cousin of a coworker of his who had to travel back and forth to Russia SIX... YES, SIX times to adopt their child. Mind you, it is supposed to be a total of two visits for Russia. This would never happen in China. This is just one example of the many things that can unexpectedly pop-up in Russia and other countries. The issue of baby selling in other countires is also a scary reality. Today, on several adoption websites, there is rumor that adoptions in Guatemala are being halted as of today. If true, this will leave thousands of families in adoption limbo until the red tape is straighten out. Again, this most likely wouldn't happen with China. There are also many other countires that have recently opened up to international adoption, especially in Africa. These programs were just too "new" for us. The girls have know from early on that we would be adopting. We needed a country that we could count on for stability and security. China is it.
There is one other key factor that made our decision to adopt from China an easy one. China requires only one visit to their country with a short 10 day stay. During that stay, we travel in groups with other adoptive parents and are escorted by our agency's very competent representatives. I chatted on-line with many parents who adopted from China who had very positive experiences. Many of these families return to China to adopt a second child.

WE are LID!!!!!

I just got the email a few minutes ago!!! Here it is....

*********************************************************
To: Hilario Fernandez & Christine de Zayas-Fernandez

Re: CCAI Log-In Date & Packet


Congratulations!  Your dossier has been logged in by the China Center of Adoption Affairs. 

Your official dossier log-in date (LID) is: 2/10/2007
***********************************************************

This is the notice that can only be surpassed by the one that states that we have been matched with a baby! LID stands for Log In Date. This means that the CCAA has officially logged us into their office. Remember that our documents were sent to China on 1/22/07. Pretty efficient, don't you think? I love the Chinese! The great thing about China is that they don't play favorites with particular agencies or families. Everything goes by your LID. Right now, they have matched babies with families that have been LID up to 10/13/05. Yes, that was 2005... not a typo! So you can see, this is going to be a LONG wait. Currently, I think the wait is 18 months. I am hoping and praying that this will all change with the new restrictions going in place as of May 1st. But at the same time I know that this is all part of HIS plan and will go so accordingly. The frustrating part is that it isn't like there aren't enough babies. It is just that there are so many orphanges in China that are not open to international adoption. I wonder why?

Today is a fabulous day! It marks the beginning. August 2008? Beijing Summer Olympics?

Happy Birthday Princess Annelise

Yesterday was Annie's 5th birthday! It is amazing how time has gone by so fast and yet, at the same time, it seems such a long time ago that I gave birth to her. Annie was so tiny when she was born. Her face was as small as my fist. Her doctor appointments during the first nine months of her life were so nerve wracking. I remember her doctor saying, "We'll see how much weight she has gained and inches she has grown by next month, to determine if she is thriving. " THRIVING!!!???

Two days ago, I was sitting at gymnastics watching her rotate through all the events and I was filled with so much emotion and joy at just watching her. For the entire hour she was out there, she was grinning from ear to ear and literally jumping up in down in place as she waited her turn. Of the hundred plus girls out on the floor, none was as expressive and genuinely happy as Annie. Annie exudes contentment and sheer happiness. All the little girls wanted to be next to her. The instructors all greet her. They all know her name, even the ones who have never had her in their group.

As a mother, I find such peace in this. Annie will always be fine. She attracts the same energy she emits. People want to be with her and befriend her. Annie is definitely thriving!!!!

Happy birthday, Annelise Marie!

Bai Jia Bei

To welcome and celebrate a new life, there is a tradition in the northern part of China to make a Bai Jia Bei, or 100 Good Wishes Quilt. It is a custom to invite friends and family to contribute a patch of cloth with a wish for the baby. Part of the patch of cloth goes into the quilt for the baby, and the other part of the cloth can go into a creative memory scrapbook with the wish for the child. The quilt contains the luck, energy, and good wishes from all the families and friends who contributed a piece of fabric. The quilt is then passed down from generation to generation.
Being that it looks like this is going to be a long wait here, I would love to participate in this Chinese tradition and create a quilt for our daughter. Mind you, I can barely sew a button on, but I will fiqure that part out later. If you would like to help in the creation of this quilt, please read on...

Choose ANY 100% cotton fabric that you like. It can be from clothing or from a fabric store. It just needs to be a design and color that you like.

Cut ONE 7" (pre-washed) or one 8" (un-washed) square from the fabric.

Include your "good wish note". We will place all your wishes in a scrapbook that we will give to the baby someday.

Ideas for selecting fabric squares:
*Select a fabric that is meaningful to you.
*100% cotton fabric is best, as it washes and wears better.
*If there are several members in your family, please feel free to send more than 1 set of scraps. It would be so special to include good wishes from all members of your family!! In China, these quilts were originally made from garments of family and friends, which would surround the child with luck/good wishes.

Ideas for good wishes note:
Well... what would you wish for a newborn child to have in his/her life? Some ideas that come to mind are good health, perseverance, compassion, and sense of humor. Use that as a guide for your good wish note. Also, please include a small piece of fabric on the wish.

There are also many sites out on the web that feature completed 100 wishes quilts, in case you need some more fabric ideas. Just do a google search for "100 wishes quilts." By the way, ladybugs are considered good luck for the chinese!

Love,
Christy

Can't I just dig a hole to China? It would be a lot faster!

Every family that goes through the adoption process puts together a "dossier" that is sent to China and it's govermental agency(CCAA) that reviews the packet and actually matches you with a child. The dossier consists of a homestudy (4 social worker visits and the write-up), FBI clearances, State child abuse clearances, local police clearances, marriage and birth certificates, references, employment verications, HIV and Hepatitis clearances, doctor's visits and lab results, an adoption petition, pictures of the family and friends, etc. It is actually a very daunting process. Everything then has to be notarized, sent to the Secretary of State for certification, and finally to the Chinese Consulate office for authentication. This all takes a long time! We finished it all pretty quickly...It took us 4 complete months. Then the packet is sent to our agency (CCAI not to be confused with China's govermental agency CCAA) where it goes through review and is translated into Chinese. Finally, it is sent to China. Our DTC (documents to China) date was 1/22/07. The next important and critical date will be our Log In Date (LID). Once we have that date , we can guesstimate when we will be traveling. It will be anywhere from 15-18 months from that date. We should be getting our log in date (LID) anytime now. I think it will be before the end of February. Hopefully, with the new restricitions and criteria for adopting from China, this will speed up a bit. Otherwise, we may very well be in China for the 2008 Olympics. We will not be matched with a child until 5-8 weeks before we travel to China. So, it is probably safe to say that she has not be born yet. She will most likely be from southern China where it is more rural. There they can have two children or one boy. When the first daughter is born, they keep them, but if a second daughter is born she is usually abandoned in hopes of having another pregnancy that will result in a boy.